Santa's Evil Army
is, as their name suggests, an evil army under the control of Santa Claus. They were established with the purpose of destroying the world, and are composed of both shinobi and non-shinobi from across the several different realms. They are chiefly responsible for the eternal winter that is rapidly spreading across the face of the earth via a circumferential snowline. If they are successful in achieving Santa’s goals, they will establish a political and economic monopoly that will strip the shinobi nations of their freedom and grant Santa unlimited power. History After Santa was possessed by the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come, accidentally slipped into a wormhole, and ended up in the shinobi universe, he established a fortress in the North Pole and began to amass an army to carry out his nefarious plot. He was aided by his eight chief henchmen, powerful beings from “the other side,” as well as a substantial workforce of enslaved elves who followed him about a week after he arrived. In a month he had completed his preparations and had triggered the snowline that now threatens to freeze over the world. Organization Santa’s army is organized as a strict top-down hierarchy, with his Chief Eight Advisors serving as generals who enforce his commands. The army is broken up into three main battalions: a work-force of elves who construct weapons, the main infantry of humans and shinobi pulled from various wormholes throughout the expanse of the space-time continuum, and a “special force” whose true identity and function has yet to be revealed. Most of the soldiers have been brainwashed in order to keep them compliant, and the most typical result is that they believe they are on an infinite conquest of love in a land known as “''PuriPuri Paradiso'',” tasked with destroying an invading force of octopi aliens in a semi-sexual manner. The elves on the other hand, are coerced into slave labor against their will. They are chained to their workbenches in the basement of Santa’s fortress and are given drugs in their food which addicts them to their elf cookies, thus ensuring their continued diligence until eventually their Christmas spirits are crushed and they are no longer capable of contemplating escape. The fortress itself is located at the North Pole, and is protected by several powerful barriers and other defense mechanisms. It resembles a prison in appearance, and is equipped with high-tech satellite, radar, and other detection and communication devices. Santa also has several powerful nuclear warheads in his arsenal, one of the most notorious being Rudolph the Red, whose destructive power is great enough to wipe out an entire village of shinobi if deployed. There are also several spies dispersed throughout the shinobi nations, and they are typically hard to detect except for the candy cane comlinks that each agent is equipped with. Members Dasha (ダシャー, Dasha): Santa’s right hand man and the most powerful out of the chief Eight Advisors. He is a no-nonsense individual who takes his role as head advisor seriously. However, he is also over-worked and undergoing occupational burn-out, often barely tolerating Santa’s frequently absurd demands. He seems to be much more emotionally mature and psychologically stable than his employer, and in fact is the true engineer behind the army’s day-to-day operations. He complains of sleep-deprivation and being addicted to coffee. Puranza (プランザ, Puranza): The resident techie of Santa’s eight advisors, Puranza is always keeping up on the latest gadgets. He doesn’t really give a shit about his job so long as he has some piece of technology to keep him occupied, and is typically easy-going and extremely casual. He is responsible for designing most of the security systems and high-tech weapons that the army utilizes. Danna (ダンナ, Dan’na): A silent and morose individual, Danna is very reserved and stoic. His role is unknown, but it is believed that he is tasked with providing donuts to the staff meetings in the army and for refilling the paperclips. Buddy (バディ, Badi): Formerly a slave in Santa’s army and one of the very workers assigned to the team that constructed Rudolph the Red, Buddy was renowned as being one of the hardest working and most obedient elves in the workforce. Little did his overseers realize, but this was all part of his plan to catch them off-guard and escape. Buddy slowly starved him over the course of several months in order to wean himself off of the drug that addicted him to the elf cookies, which is probably the main reason why he looks so weak and anemic (because he actually is). His former training as a manservant as well as the added effect of the drugs also served to suppress his emotions further, which is why he comes across as such a long-winded killjoy. However, while he may first come across as an unresponsive corpse, Buddy actually possesses incredible inner strength and determination, and is deeply passionate about justice and other noble causes. For centuries his family has traditionally served as the personal attendants to Santa Claus himself, and Buddy was being prepared to take over his father’s role when Santa was possessed by the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come. He was deeply affected by the event, and nearly traumatized when his father was killed while trying to convince Santa to abandon his evil plot. As such Buddy wishes to see Santa stopped, but he is still possesses a servant’s loyalty towards the man and does not wish to seem him killed, and he still addresses Santa as “lord.” Trivia *The song Santa Claus is Coming to Town is played 24-7 at Santa's fortress as background music on the production floors and as elevator music. *Santa's elves are, disappointingly, average human-sized.